Pumps and Bumps
Anybody who has an insulin pump and opts to wear clothing when going out in public knows how annoying it can be to find a place to hide an external pancreas. Throughout my 10+ years of having an insulin pump, I have learned tricks as to how to hide this organ-on-a-cord in my clothing. Here are pump hacks and anecdotes by me:
I usually put my pump in the waistband of my pants. I can access it easily and normally it stays there pretty securely. There are moments, however, when my jeans betray me. Recently I was walking through my school’s crowded cafeteria with my hands full of plates when my pump slid from the waistband of my jeans and down one of my pant legs. I couldn’t stop and situate it, so I had to finish walking through the cafeteria with a mysterious bump on my leg. SO AWKWARD!! I was well aware that the bump was unexplainable to those not privy to my disease, and it felt like everyone was looking (even though a total of zero people probably noticed.)
A few weeks ago I found an easy way to prevent this. When I wear a tanktop I fold the bottom to make a pocket for my pump before tucking it into my pants. This little kangaroo pouch keeps my battery powered pancreas from falling out of its place.
When I wear a dress I usually put my pump in the waist of my undies or in my bra. I prefer to avoid the latter because, honestly, my girls aren’t the best at hiding it. Also, I’m weirdly self-conscious about giving people hugs when I have a hunk of machinery between my boobs.
Fancy social events like prom or formals can be especially difficult. A couple of weeks ago, my club, Sigma Phi Mu, had an annual formal. Pulling a classic Rachel-move, I selected and rented my dress the day before. I chose a really beautiful black number with gems studded on mesh on the back. It reminded me of Audrey Hepburn’s famous black dress from her movie, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. That morning I realised there was virtually nowhere to hide my pump in that dress. It was form fitting, so It would make an obvious bump if I put it on my waist. Because of the see-through back I wasn’t able to wear a bra, so my pump couldn’t go there either. I thought for a half-millisecond about going on shots for the evening but hardly entertained that thought because no thanks.
Suddenly, in a moment of brilliance, I got an idea. Get ready: this is genius. I grabbed an old pair of leggings and a pair of pink scissors and cut the waistband off my leggings. I twisted the waistband once around itself, like you would do with an infinity scarf, and slid it up my leg and thigh. Yes, I made a DIY garter for the evening. I secured my insulin-box in the garter and headed out. It actually worked pretty well!
Even though I usually try to hide my pump and I am revealing my houdini-level tips and tricks to you, I don’t want you to think that having a pump is anything to be ashamed of. Clipping it outside of your jeans is 100% an option, and something I do sometimes. In 2014 Miss Idaho confidently wore her insulin pump attached to her bathing suit on stage during the Miss America pageant. Her bold, unapologetic, display of self confidence in herself almost brought me to tears. How you wear your pump is a personal choice, but whatever you do, do it with confidence!
